Well this day has come and almost gone now.

It was very very hard without Justin here but I know he was thinking about us he was on line chatting with us.

We have ALL prayed that the rain would stop just long enough to get the lanterns to go up to you and our prayers came true we got a little wet waiting but it was all worth it.

Loads of friends and family showed up to remember you

Me Pam Jessica Mom Connie Jim Mark Cathy MelindaMandy Billy Little JoeyBill ZachAnnaWalt BrittMartyJulius

I think I got all of them please forgive me if I left any one out. I am really drained tonight.

We did have a few mishaps with the lanterns but all went off very beautiful. We all let at least one off to you and some of us more than one.

Loads of trash in my jeep and I sure hope we got it all cleaned up at the gravesite I will go check and make sure tomorrow.

I can't believe it has been 4 long stressful and lonely years without you.

Yes life has went on and we are moving forward physically but my heart will always be in the past. For without you by my side I am only half a person.

The kids are doing so good and are both growing into adults.

Pam has been a lifesaver to me thru the days and nights of missing you and the days and nights worrying about and missing Justin. I am not sure where I would be without her. She has become a very important part of my life.

She never got to meet you but she knows everything about you and loves you dearly.

Four years ago tonight I started sleeping on the couch and I am still there as you know. I just can't go get in our bed. I did sleep on it one night while Justin was home only because I had a house full and wouldn't let them leave.

Joe there is not a minute in my life that I am not thinking about you and what we had hoped and planned for our future this was not part of it.

I am trying very hard to look toward the future but it is so hard to see when I am looking at it all alone.

No matter how many days or how many months or how many years go by I will ALWAYS love you and I will continue to miss you and the feeling of always feeling safe in your arms.

Please continue to keep Justin safe and bring him home and keep your hands on Jessica she is trying very hard we both know she can do it.

Goodnight my Love I will see you in my dreams.

Forever & Always

Your soulmate

Well

its already Oktober getting ready to face 4 years with you gone.

Waiting on Justin to come home even if just for a short time.

It just won't be the same without him here this year.

This is the time of the year that I have grwon to HATE the changing leaves we always watched the holidays that we used to enjoy so much I don't have anything to look forward to at this time of the year.

This year will be especially hard with Justin in Iraq and without you here and Pam going home for the holidays.

But as I have come to realize life goes on regardless of anything.

I have managed to keep my head on straightwell almost straight for the last almost 4 years. Have gotten back in touch with a few of your old pals and mine and shared alot of laughs with stories about you.

Tommy didn't even know about anything til back in Juli he is living in VA he was just devastated to hear.

I got way too stressed out and took off and spent the weekend at his home a few weeks ago and had a GREAT time very stress free and enjoyable. We had alot of laughs and a few tears too.

Kevin Yeager has been in touch a little we had a long talk one day on the phone laughing and crying.

I sure miss sitting out on the porch with you talking or just sitting there.

I would give anything to sit out on the back deck and build a fire and wrap up in your arms that would paradise.

Well back to reality I guess I will just sit wrapped in my robe and know that you are sitting right there with me.

Well keep Justin safe and bring him home to us and slap him in the back of the head and make him realize what he has sitting here waiting on him and her heart is full of love for him.

Later babe.

I LOVE YOU

WISHING YOU A WONDERFUL & BLESSED CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN PRECIOUS JOE. YOU WILL FOREVER BE LOVED & MISSED AND WILL CONTINUE TO LIVE ON THROUGH THOSE THAT LOVE YOU. MAY YOUR DAY IN HEAVEN WITH OUR ANGELS BE A SPECIAL DAY WITH OUR LORD UP ABOVE. GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR PRECIOUS FAMILY. LOVE LaRAINE MOM TO MY PRECIOUS DAUGHTER CYNTHIA

Hey Babe,

As you know Justin has one week left before leaving me. I am just sick about it. I don't have you here with me to help me hold on. Remember when he went to basic training?.. I was a basket case, you were the glue that held me together.

What am I going to do now without you here to hold me tight, when I start missing him.

He is excited about going and we have talked about it but he just doesn't understand how his momma worries.

I am going to need to feel you near me more and more with each passing day.

I know this is what he wants and what he knew could happen when he joined the Army.

But things are different now after we lost you.

Just stay close by him and help protect him and bring him home to me when his time is up over there.

We are having a going away party Saturday night for him. I hope all his friends show up and let him know how much he will be missed.

We are having a cookout here at the house first then we rented a bar for him to have one last blast with his friends.

Oh how I wish you were here to see him off with me. I probably will not sleep SUnday night so hold me a little tighter and let me know that everything will be alright.

Joe, I love you more than I ever thought I could. Stay close to all of us and keep us all safe.

Goodnight my love, I will see you in my dreams

forever more.

Forever Your one and only.

Forever in my heart.

Judy

Three years ago this nightmare began.

I have not put this into words before on your site but I feel that it is time to tell.

The company that Joe was working for at the untimely time of his death.

PSI,,Protection Services Inc.

Protection of who I don't know it sure as hell wasn't their employees.

Joe was performing a job that he had never done before. He had only a general idea of what to do.

Joe wasn't careless and never done anything stupid.

The morning of November 18, 2005, his supervisor, Aaron Valentyne,

drove him to the end of the work zone and dropped him off, leaving him all alone and over 6 miles from any of the other employees.

He turned around and drove his ass back up the road ,, leaving Joe alone working in the middle of a two lane highway, WITH NO PROTECTION,,

no one there to watch his back as he done his job.

They DID NOT have flaggers working with Joe they were 3 miles behind him.

Joe was marking the centerline for RPM's recessed pavement markers,

he had a measuring wheel and a can of white spray paint, he was wearing his reflective vest, that was his only protection.

Joe was making his last mark and he would have been done and could have headed back, walking 6 miles or so to where the rest of the entire co workers were. They even had extra workers there that morning from the Maryland office. But still didn't think it was important enough to have someone stay with Joe.

Aaron sure as hell wasn't going to stay with him it would have meant he would have had to do some work.

The driver, apparently didn't see Joe, as he was bent down making his last mark.

If only he had been paying attention to the road, or even more so if the incompetent company of PSI would have  felt that it was important enough to have flaggers there, Joe would still be with us today.

PSI,, murdered my Joe when they ( Aaron Valentyne) took him and just dropped him off and left him.

The accident happened at 10:10am and the idiots with PSI took 5 hours to get to me, only 40 mintes away. They waited til the idiots with the company flew in on the private jet so that they could come and tell me.

Joe should have never left the scene without me. He should have never had to be transported to the hospital all alone. I should have been there with him.

But again the stupid asses didn't think that it was important enough to come get me.

Aaron has disappeared, he is such a coward!!!!

But I know where you are!!!!Aaron!!!!

I have been told, because I don't remember alot of that day, that I looked straight at him and told him that it was all his fault.I just found this out within the last 6 months, I have no memory of saying anything to him.

I just want 5 minutes face to face with him, just to tell him what I think of him and how he and his incompetent company cheated me out of being there with Joe.

Most of that day is a blank, all I remember them saying is the word "unfortunately".

The Poca branch of PSI has now closed and I would honestly love to see the whole company go under.

They don't care about their employees they only care about the almighty dollar.

One of the men who came to tell me about Joe, Nick, he was as cold of a human as he could be and he was asked not to attend the services.

He was rude to me and to my family members.

When the accident happened Justin, our son, was in Aberdeen Maryland for military training, he was told about his dad by his superiers and had to catch a commercial flight home the next day,,,,even with PSI's private jet just sitting at the airport.

Yeah, they could have flown and brought him home but they were too worried about how they needed to get their stories straight and they knew I had them for not protecting my Joe.

I know Joe is in a much better place and that he is pain and worry free, but I am left, and all his family, with a huge hole in our hearts and our world.

I will ALWAYS hate PSi and the Stabler company for being so careless with such a wonderful and caring and perfect mans life.

All I can say is I hope when they lay down to sleep everynight for the rest of their lives that the thought of my Joe haunts them for what they did to him and to all of his family.

Hugs to you Judy I hope Joes Angel Light will warm your heartxx